The Anger of Wayne Gretzky
A wise little green dude once said...
Fear leads to anger.
Anger leads to hate.
Hate leads to suffering.
Someone should tell Wayne Gretzky to watch Star Wars (yeah, yeah, this quote came out of the awful Phantom Menace, but he should just fast forward to the wicked lightsaber battles and the quote from Yoda) because our favorite Great One's about to burst a blood vessel in his forehead. Seriously, if you have Center Ice, I highly recommend watching Yotes games because you get to see Wayne lose it, like, every five minutes. He's yelling, he's screaming, he's ranting behind the bench while waving his arms -- definitely NOT the way someone who once had his own cartoon show should be acting.
And now, for your viewing pleasure...presenting THE ANGRY FACES OF WAYNE GRETZKY!
Now, let's just analyze what Wayne's going through by the way of Yoda's wisdom.
"Fear is the path to the dark side."
Well, we all know that Wayne fears losing his millions either by A) Janet playing Texas Hold 'Em or B) the Coyotes drawing 6 fans a game. Thus, becoming a coach out of fear.
"Fear leads to anger"
Um, coaching a crappy team (despite a defense that looks awesome on paper) means a TON of screaming behind the bench. All to our amusement.
"Anger leads to hate"
Hate, as in, hate for the refs, hate for his defense, hate for Cujo, and of course, hate for Jeremy Roenick.
"Hate leads to suffering"
Does anyone think that Wayne's actually having fun right now?
Wayne, take some advice from Yoda:
Fear leads to anger.
Anger leads to hate.
Hate leads to suffering.
Someone should tell Wayne Gretzky to watch Star Wars (yeah, yeah, this quote came out of the awful Phantom Menace, but he should just fast forward to the wicked lightsaber battles and the quote from Yoda) because our favorite Great One's about to burst a blood vessel in his forehead. Seriously, if you have Center Ice, I highly recommend watching Yotes games because you get to see Wayne lose it, like, every five minutes. He's yelling, he's screaming, he's ranting behind the bench while waving his arms -- definitely NOT the way someone who once had his own cartoon show should be acting.
And now, for your viewing pleasure...presenting THE ANGRY FACES OF WAYNE GRETZKY!
Now, let's just analyze what Wayne's going through by the way of Yoda's wisdom.
"Fear is the path to the dark side."
Well, we all know that Wayne fears losing his millions either by A) Janet playing Texas Hold 'Em or B) the Coyotes drawing 6 fans a game. Thus, becoming a coach out of fear.
"Fear leads to anger"
Um, coaching a crappy team (despite a defense that looks awesome on paper) means a TON of screaming behind the bench. All to our amusement.
"Anger leads to hate"
Hate, as in, hate for the refs, hate for his defense, hate for Cujo, and of course, hate for Jeremy Roenick.
"Hate leads to suffering"
Does anyone think that Wayne's actually having fun right now?
Wayne, take some advice from Yoda:
posted by Mike Chen at
12/17/2006 12:27:00 AM
5 Comments:
Isn't it more like "Chill you fucking must, Wayne."?
I like the hot girl ads.
By
Jordi, at 6:42 PM
It's almost as if the NYR country club atmosphere has taken up residence in Phoenix. Wayne is sadly out of his element here. A shame.
By
Anonymous, at 8:43 PM
Good point, Jordi. This Star Wars fanboy should fall on his master replica lightsaber for failing to do proper yoda speak.
I've put word verification comments on so this should be the last of the hoot girl ads. I'll leave this one on there for amusement's sake, though!
By
Mike Chen, at 9:07 PM
Wayne behind the bench in Phoenix is a lot like Mario on the ice in the Burgh. When you are an owner, stick to owning.
Right now, the Yotes are the most dysfunctional family in the NHL.
Evan,
www.theNHLarena.com
By
Anonymous, at 2:51 PM
When you have never coached any team anywhere ever, and you are up against the best of the best maybe you are out of your league. Give it up Wayne, you're in over your head and now everyone but you apparently knows it.
By
Marysafan, at 2:39 PM
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